My sundown

Welcome to the end stretch of 2009, I’m well aware that this is my first entry in a few months and I apologise in advance for neglecting those of you that enjoy reading my entries (however few that amount may be). However, I’m glad to announce that I’ll be putting in (what I hope will be) an interesting piece here, as well as hopefully blogging more frequently in order to portray my thoughts. Before I start rambling, I’d like to pay respects to those that have gone before us recently.

- Patrick Swazy
- Natasha Richardson
- Eddie Bo
- Andy Hallett
- Farrah Fawcett
- Michael Jackson

So if you’re reading this it may be because I made you come here, you’re extremely bored or you’re just plain curious, thinking “I wonder how 2009’s been treating someone else?” Namely someone such as myself. Usually most people that are already 21 will tell you that your milestone year is meant to be the best year of your life. For those that are still 20 and pending such occasion, it’s easy to understand why. The anticipation that you’ll be spending time with the people you love, having a blast (getting smashed) and celebrating a milestone year that you’ve been in this world, sounds extremely enticing (especially to the pissheads). It’s basically a “time of your life scenario”. However, I believe that life has had an interesting turn of events for me, I believe I’ve had a great year despite it seeming different externally. Instead of partying ridiculously hard always having highs, I’ve had highs and lows. This might SOUND average, but to put it in perspective, for some reason I’ve learnt a lot of things talking/listening to people, some more important than others however, I don’t necessarily believe in all of them and hope that I’m wrong with some.

- In a dispute, conviction only gets you so far
- Humility is the best quality in this world
- Nothing is always as it seems
- Do not always count on the goodness of strangers
- Do not waste time on those that don’t waste time on you
- Laughter is the best medicine and also the best mask
- Bad things happen to good people
- Good things happen to bad people
- If the right outcomes went to those that deserved it, the world would be a better place
- Those that care the least don’t always lose the least but those that care for the wrong reasons/people will lose the most
- Confidence gets you far
- However over-confidence leads to ignorance and takes you backwards
- Too much wishful thinking sends you in the wrong direction
- Ignorant people with heavy conviction are THE worst people in the world
- People that constantly try to force their beliefs onto others are a close second
- “Nice guys” lose due to usually having low confidence
- Assholes don’t lose due to having higher confidence (which I actually believe to be over-confidence)
- Pride and hard work only gets you so far, power gets you further
- Nothing is ever really a waste of time
- What matters most is what you value
- People don't actually know what they want, in varying levels
- No one really does know what they want; the ones that seem to have an idea just aren't as idealistic
- Being nice to everyone is not stupid, however being nice to those that don’t deserve it is
- Two extremities cannot work together
- Living each day as if it were your last brings you to a halt, living each day as if you would regret something won’t though
- Wishful thinking
- Naivety is a quality that should come with a sign

I apologise as I wish I could remember each and every person that said something in there, however if I tried to name every person then the Christmas decorations would look lousy at my house. If you believe you’ve said something in there then credits go to you 

I’d also like to give a silent thank you to those that have invoked my thought process to write up such a fantastic rant. I won’t mention names, but my thoughts go out to you and I wish you the best in the future.

All the best for exams/work to everyone in the upcoming weeks/months!

Gots ta be

I couldn't show you everything real. I shouldn’t be selfish. I let the things in my life affect me too much and I can't do that to someone that I care this much about. I don’t want to drag you down. I need to stop it.

Blog number 143b: I'm freezing

As a kid, I used to compare injuries with my friends and would try to see whose seemed the most painful and therefore making one of us the dominant of the pack. Typical boy school stuff, we would laugh at the one who had the wimpiest injury and marvel at the one that had an injury worth being jealous of.

Through it all, I now realise that of all fractures and broken bones, nothing compares to that of a heart in pain, which is powerful enough to incapacitate someone oozing so much machismo that it causes their chest hair to puff their shirt out.

I'm sorry I called you childish and made you think that your eyes may remain permanently black.
I'm sorry that I said you were irresponsible and made you think that your prospects at good health is something that's not on track.
I'm sorry that I brought your parents into this and had to show that I cared the way that I did, which seemed like more of an attack.

I told you last night; my anger and you don't seem to go hand in hand. My head had cleared after leaving my house, but the emotion that was anger was soon replaced with concern. Running to the bus stop, my mind beat me in a race with questions; "Would I lose her trust?", "Would I lose everything I have with her?", "Would she think less of me?", "Would I lose my chances?". My ground speed ate the dust of the speed at which questions came.

Whilst sitting in the bus, trying to keep myself pre-occupied I realised that it was as futile as my attempts to apologise. My iPod was angry at me today even, I sifted through a 64-song playlist for 5 minutes trying to find the song that I wanted. Was this an indicator that I deserved to suffer? To exacerbate the situation, the device alerted me that its power was low and there was nothing I could do. Reading the book in my bag was out of the question due to lacking sleep, yet sleeping wasn't an option due to my thoughts.

My anger got the better of me, which in turn pushed me out of line. It reminded me that to do this kind of thing was a part of you that draws me to you but it also reminded me of a question that I asked my mum. After my step-dad and her stopped working for several weeks, I asked why they didn't go out and look for work. She told me that after working full-time, I would properly appreciate leisurely activities. Maybe it was because I had to go to court from 8:45 through til 4 that made see it from a different perspective. You have to endure worse EVERYDAY, yet I was itching to get out from the court room at 11 and it was because of my idiotic nature that I took so long to appreciate what my mum meant.

You sounded so happy this morning but I shot it down with my negativity. You called me this morning so I wouldn't be late and because I asked you to. It definitely came off as though I didn't appreciate your gesture, but that's not true. I forgot to thank you for it. You're such a great girl.

It was through the stupidity of my actions that an epiphany came to me.

You don't realise what you have until you lose it, but all you need to realise how much you care about it is for it to be put on the line.

I'm sorry

--(--@

What did we just miss?

So another year passes by and what a year it has been, there's always up and downs but some stand out more than others. I believe I speak for many when 2008 will be a year that will be ingrained in our memories.. here is a list of events that will stand out for me and most likely some others.

- I started my new course at uni.
- Fidel Castro, president of Cuba resigns.
- Kevin Rudd leads sorry day.
- China experiences an 8.0M earthquake and nearly 80,000 die.
- The Beijing olympics that were full of upsets and surprises in themselves.
- The global economy crisis which will effect us for a while to come
- Barack Obama becoming the first african-american president-elect.
- NO MORE GEORGE BUSH

RIP
- Granddad
- Aunty Jui
- Heath Ledger: Australian actor.
- Edmund Hillary: First man to climb Mt. Everest.
- Roy Scheider: Main actor in Jaws.
- George Carlin: American comedian
- Isaac Hayes: Voice of Chef on south park and musician
- Bernie Mac: American comedian and actor.

Many other events will remain in our mind and hearts and some will stand out more than others, if people want to pay respect or point out any big event that I missed then feel free to comment.

Fulfilling your craving for Willus' idiotic rants

So, I sit here at 3am unable to sleep talking to one cool ass chick. For 5 months I haven’t blogged and think how much of an ass I am for not doing so. So much has gone by through this year and it makes me realise how much my friends as well as I take things for granted. I won’t start by making promises I can’t keep such as promising to blog twice a week or making sure my moronic friends don’t spam the chatbox.

So maybe some of you guys might be asking.. what is it that compelled me to write up this thing idiotic rant at 3am after 5 months of no blogging? It’s not a way for me to get a sudden shoot in views or anything (though, that is an idea to keep for the future). I would like to tell you guys what my inability to sleep stems from but that’s no fun; you guys have to find out for yourselves…

However, as corny as this will sound, I hope you guys do this… try and think about every person that makes your life what it is; whether they be a friend, an uncle, your ex-boyfriend’s cousin twice-removed then ask yourself this question; “How much does [insert person here] mean to me?” and then show that feeling in one form or another (don’t worry, I’m not telling you to make out with your brother) before it’s too late.

RPCCB --(-@