Black winter day

So I've woken up in the middle of the night, I should be sleeping since I have work early tomorrow but... I'll do it later :P I turned on the TV and the news headlines have grabbed my attention; "Death toll in Christchurch may reach 100". Searching news.com.au an instantaneous surge of solemn emotions well up from seeing "GRIM TASK: SURVIVAL HOPES FADE". As we pray for ourselves in times that aren't plagued by a crisis (for others), we often forget or overlook others that aren't so fortunate themselves. Is ignorance excusable or is it condemnable?

Ask yourself, "how often do I feel like I'm suffering?" or "how often do I wish that things were better/different?". As we toll away at our regular lives we are so thoroughly engrossed in the minuscule details of what's required (microwave my rice for 2mins 30, remember to take out the trash), ie: we become self-absorbed. Don't get me wrong, it is YOUR life, but very often we don't remember about others that are less fortunate and but do for the man in the mirror.

The saying "so glad that's not me" is thrown around quite often and then we just leave the situation be and return to our own self-concern. You are NOT ALONE, whether it be in the loss of a loved one, finances going into ruin or injuring yourself, you all just want the pain to stop. Grief is not a quick process and as such you can't reduce it with shortcuts despite some people recovering sooner than others. Conversely we ask, are the stragglers caught up with false guilt or do others deal with it more efficiently?

Whatever the reason, we can take delight in knowing that you aren't alone, not in the sense that I mentioned before but rather that we have many that care for us; God, friends, family. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. (Psalm 91:4) Is it reasonable (or audacious) however, to think that the suffering goes away or that it gets easier?

We should also take delight in knowing that we are weak, if not then why would you need help when you are strong? But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9) To certain degrees, suffering makes select things difficult and brusque. Putting all your faith in God is certainly true for the former and it certainly makes regular life true for the latter. It is for those reasons that we need to deal with adversity one hour at a time, one day at a time; not forgetting that there are other ways which seem relatively innocuous when we aren't suffering (such as drinking with friends).

Bed time,
Ah Wiwless.

Please remember:
- The people in Christchurch
- The people in Libya
- Your friends and peers
- Your family
- Be thankful for what you have

I'm thoughtful and kind, but I'm evil alas
But everything I love has turned to a tedious task
I feel that life a waiting game for people to pass
But nobody ever want you to see through the mask

It could be wrong, could be wrong, but it should've been right

Well well well, hello again sir blog. Didn't think you'd see me again, did you?! Well I'm back and black. In any case, I have a new (not so well thought through) ponderous rant here to give you readers/browsers something to read/close/laugh at.

So a couple of months ago I was sitting with my friend outside my house (he'll know who he is, IF he reads this) and we were talking about how circumstances have developed around us for the worst. Being perfectly honest, there was some bad-mouthing here and there from me which made me realise just how much things have changed over just a few years. Ok, admittedly you wouldn't pick these sort of things when you're out having a good time with these people, but friendships do deteriorate, people do drift and opinions of people do change.

For example, what makes you think your current best friend won't turn out to be the biggest bitch to challenge Paris Hilton? Have you overlooked the fact that your boyfriend may be more vain than the great Fabio himself? Ok, fair enough your best friend and you are in-sync like performers at the North Korean mass games or your boyfriend might actually be worth a gander, but why is there such an alarming possibility that our loyalties can change from moment to moment?

I love my friends, some more than others (HAR!) but the idea that alignments change so spontaneously at times really really REALLY makes you wonder; "what will change tomorrow?".

Why does person A not talk to person B because of person C? How is it possible that person D has forgotten to invite person E to the outting AGAIN? If person F says something about person G is it because there are ill-feelings? This whole "loyalty" thing definitely has an unbelievable amount of factors to consider and frankly seems to be incredibly grey.

From a 3rd party standpoint, it can be very interesting to observe (even if it is morally questionable). However, it can be so gut-wrenching to watch your friends take swings at each other (physically or verbally) whether they be for pride, desires or spite. Is it better for those not immediately involved to standby or get involved? If we standby, do we have the right to pass judgment on those that are involved? Girls, I'm sure you've reacted to your friend getting dumped by their bf with "that bastard!" Allow me to ask you again; do you have the right?

Alternatively, we approach things with a neutral and fair point of view. How many of you have tried to do this and as a result felt like you're just playing devil's advocate? You stay where you are, being reasonable yet all you can feel is that you're not doing what you can for your friend. What do we do? Usually I try my best to reach a compromise and make a sacrifice on my own behalf if I have to. I do get self-conscious of what my friends think at times when I have to make those hard choices, but what other way should I have it? Should I allow my friends to get away with doing the wrong things? I'm also a firm believer of standing back and allowing only the parties involved to duke it out. Although, what happens if I have no choice? What happens if someone wrongs someone I hold dearly to my heart?

Over there they die from what we buy from drugs

I was reading through the news the other day and there was a section about soccer riots. It made me wonder, some of my friends talk day in day out about soccer and I'd remember in high school when their talks would get heated. Then whenever I said that the sport was shit, they'd make a come back saying "soccer is the world game!". I agree that it is a good sport, it brings people together... but what of all the negativity surrounding it?

- 1994: Andres Escobar; Colombian defender assassinated over own goal
- 2006 Italian game riggin scandal
- Bulgarian soccer players expelled for homosexual activity (I actually lol'd at this)
- COUNTLESS soccer riots over years

Again, with the cryptic posts. Where am I going with this?! To put it in laymen terms; when things get too big, they also get bad. If you've ever heard of "too much of a good thing is a bad thing" then you know exactly what I'm talking about. Should we concerned when something we love gets too much exposure? Of course, because there are always going to be people that abuse the shit out of it. Should we be concerned when too many people start attending the concert of your favourite rapper? Of course, because then people misconstrue their image.

Another example would be the broncos vs dragons game that I went to a couple weeks ago. A fight occurred in the crowd between a broncos and a dragons fan, in this case the dragons fan did nothing wrong but rather he was provoked. I'm a broncos fan and the brawl did entertain me but I felt like the dragons fan was hard done by. The point in this case was that the broncos fan that provoked the guy was a dickhead for doing so; why did something everyone in the stadium love so much have to attract such negativity? Why can't people enjoy something in peace without it going the wrong way?

To quote a man in his lyrics "Good morning, this aint vietnam, still, people lose hands, arms and legs for real"

Then you only leave space to discriminate

Ever been curious as to how a player in a team sport feels when they’re sitting there on the bench whilst their team mates are out there doing whatever they can to win the game? Ever wondered what happens when a player goes onto the bench after being out there for maybe half an hour? Many would probably consider those benchwarmers to be near useless and out of the game, unable to contribute to the team effort. However, there are a number of things people don’t realise about those that are benchwarming.


Screw these analogies. People on the sideline see things with (what I hope would be) a neutral opinion and see things for what they really are. They get a chance to analyse, so to speak. Though, you begin to wonder; what can be seen from the sideline? We see that there are things wrong with how the game's played (or how people act to their peers) and maybe we're not approaching the game in the best way possible. To be corny... "Whatchu talkin bout Willus?"


* We get told what's good and what's bad, without making that decision for ourselves
* We do things for the wrong reasons. Expecting a good deed from a good deed does not make you a good person
* We don't explore and instead we stick with what we're comfortable with
* Likewise, we don't accept different opinions
* We judge by appearances
* We assume and don't look into things
* We don't take time out for those that we care about
* We are too concerned with what people think of us
* We think too short term
* We develop double standards
* We forget the simple things
* We refuse to accept reality at times and even make excuses
* We dwell on things and don't move on due to pride, insecurity or other reasons
* We are too quick to point out others' shortcomings when not working on our own
* We mistake things for one another, ie: revenge is not the same as justice, kindness isn't the same as loving

I'm also guilty of doing such things. Some of those things contradict/conflict with one another. Perfection is impossible.

My sundown

Welcome to the end stretch of 2009, I’m well aware that this is my first entry in a few months and I apologise in advance for neglecting those of you that enjoy reading my entries (however few that amount may be). However, I’m glad to announce that I’ll be putting in (what I hope will be) an interesting piece here, as well as hopefully blogging more frequently in order to portray my thoughts. Before I start rambling, I’d like to pay respects to those that have gone before us recently.

- Patrick Swazy
- Natasha Richardson
- Eddie Bo
- Andy Hallett
- Farrah Fawcett
- Michael Jackson

So if you’re reading this it may be because I made you come here, you’re extremely bored or you’re just plain curious, thinking “I wonder how 2009’s been treating someone else?” Namely someone such as myself. Usually most people that are already 21 will tell you that your milestone year is meant to be the best year of your life. For those that are still 20 and pending such occasion, it’s easy to understand why. The anticipation that you’ll be spending time with the people you love, having a blast (getting smashed) and celebrating a milestone year that you’ve been in this world, sounds extremely enticing (especially to the pissheads). It’s basically a “time of your life scenario”. However, I believe that life has had an interesting turn of events for me, I believe I’ve had a great year despite it seeming different externally. Instead of partying ridiculously hard always having highs, I’ve had highs and lows. This might SOUND average, but to put it in perspective, for some reason I’ve learnt a lot of things talking/listening to people, some more important than others however, I don’t necessarily believe in all of them and hope that I’m wrong with some.

- In a dispute, conviction only gets you so far
- Humility is the best quality in this world
- Nothing is always as it seems
- Do not always count on the goodness of strangers
- Do not waste time on those that don’t waste time on you
- Laughter is the best medicine and also the best mask
- Bad things happen to good people
- Good things happen to bad people
- If the right outcomes went to those that deserved it, the world would be a better place
- Those that care the least don’t always lose the least but those that care for the wrong reasons/people will lose the most
- Confidence gets you far
- However over-confidence leads to ignorance and takes you backwards
- Too much wishful thinking sends you in the wrong direction
- Ignorant people with heavy conviction are THE worst people in the world
- People that constantly try to force their beliefs onto others are a close second
- “Nice guys” lose due to usually having low confidence
- Assholes don’t lose due to having higher confidence (which I actually believe to be over-confidence)
- Pride and hard work only gets you so far, power gets you further
- Nothing is ever really a waste of time
- What matters most is what you value
- People don't actually know what they want, in varying levels
- No one really does know what they want; the ones that seem to have an idea just aren't as idealistic
- Being nice to everyone is not stupid, however being nice to those that don’t deserve it is
- Two extremities cannot work together
- Living each day as if it were your last brings you to a halt, living each day as if you would regret something won’t though
- Wishful thinking
- Naivety is a quality that should come with a sign

I apologise as I wish I could remember each and every person that said something in there, however if I tried to name every person then the Christmas decorations would look lousy at my house. If you believe you’ve said something in there then credits go to you 

I’d also like to give a silent thank you to those that have invoked my thought process to write up such a fantastic rant. I won’t mention names, but my thoughts go out to you and I wish you the best in the future.

All the best for exams/work to everyone in the upcoming weeks/months!